A Note on Getting Shot Down

"You are the bride! It's your wedding, do what you want!"

I don't know about you, but I've heard this about a million times during my year of wedding planning, and I definitely think there is this culture in the wedding industry that the wedding is totally and completely all about the bride all the time. By the time I got engaged, this idea had pretty much infiltrated my brain. It didn't help that I practically had the entire wedding planned out in my head within moments of saying yes!

So when I started bringing my ideas for the wedding to Mr Elk and Mama Elk, it took me by total surprise how often my ideas were shot down. At first, I can't lie, I was pretty annoyed. I was still in this mind frame that it's my wedding and I should get whatever I want. It didn't take long, though, for me to realize how dumb I was being. This isn't just my wedding! If it was MY wedding, I'd be marrying myself! The wedding is to celebrate my relationship with Mr. Elk and the beginning of the rest of our lives together. Of course I need his input! And moreover, I am Mama Elk's only daughter, and her and Papa Elk are footing a lot of the bill (because they want to!). She so desperately wants to be a part of the planning process to spend time with me. In a way, it is her wedding too (well, the party at least).

The biggest example of getting shot down is something I've already discussed with you- having our pooch at the wedding. Mr Elk and Mama Elk are both equally adamant that this NOT happen. I'm not thrilled about being shot down on this one, but recognize that its just not going to happen.

The pooch looking dapper in his bowtie. (This picture is part of the compromise we've made to include the pooch in the wedding- we'll get back to this eventually)

I'm glad I realized how silly I was being, and I'm now able to be shot down gracefully without getting too upset. It is also a testament to my relationship with Mr. Elk that we can compromise on a lot of these details we don't necessarily agree on.

Have you been shot down during the planning process? How have you dealt with it?

hair trial complete!

The other day I stopped into my hair dressers for a quick trim and a hair trial! If you remember, I already bought some fake hair to extend my ponytail and give the illusion of thick hair. Therefore, I knew going into my trial that I wanted a side ponytail hairstyle. I also thought I'd really like to include some sort of braid into my hair. I'm not big on super intricate updos, but wanted to keep my hair out of my face so I wasn't tempted to touch it all night long. Now I forgot my fake hair, so you will have to picture it with a long, thick, curly ponytail, but here is what we came up with: (personal photos ahead)




As you can see the braid wraps around my entire head, not all that defined in the front but gets more defined as it goes. And just in case you need a refresher and don't feel like clicking on the link, here is me with my fake hair so you can see how much length I will gain with Jessica Simpson's Hair-Do:


I think the long hair will really make the style- it definitely looks a little kooky with my tiny ponytail though. Anyhoo, I'm happy with it. I think a hair accessory will make a nice finishing touch, but I can't decide what I should get.

Option #1) large fabric flower: this is really sweet, adorable, and feminine.

via LaBlancFleur on Etsy

Option #2)rhinestone bow: I don't think you guys have really realized my true love for bows, but I LOVE BOWS! they are so cute! and this would definitely elevate my wedding look to a little more fancy.

via Luxe Deluxe on etsy

Option #3: mini orchids/pins scattered in the braid: my florist originally planted this idea in my head, stating that she could provide some mini orchids to be placed throughout my hair. I think this look is adorable, sweet, and fits the look I am going for. Is it weird, though, that I would not be using orchids ANYWHERE else in the wedding?

via Hair Comes The Bride

I am super confused and don't know which accessory would work best. So Hive, please help me! Which one do you like most?!

And was your hairstyle a breeze to decide on, or did it take a while to find something that worked well for you?

Am I really Old Enough?

25<--that’s my current age, and how old I will be at our nuptials. On paper, it looks like a pretty good age to marry. I’m a quarter of a century old, have been through college and medical school, and have been living independently. But in real life I am FREAKING out. How is it possible that I am that old, and that I am getting married (and about to be a doctor!). It feels kind of like the day I realized that I was older than all of the people on The Real World- I always thought THEY were so old and still to this day cannot believe I am that much older than them.

I guess it doesn’t help that I still like a lot of things meant for teenagers. As I’ve shared before, I have a strange love for television shows quite obviously designed to be enjoyed by highschoolers. On any given night I may be watching Pretty Little Liars, or The Secret Life of the American Teenager (I really hate that one, but can’t stop watching!). I have reread the HP series so many times that I am now starting to over think them (I can’t read the 4^th book anymore, too many plot holes). Sometimes Mr. Elk likes to ask how old I think I am, because I clearly can’t believe I am in my mid 20s.

Anyway, my point is that while I have no doubts that I want to be married to Mr Elk and the time is right, it is totally overwhelming to realize that I am actually a grown adult capable of making such a ginormous life decision and actually feel confident that it is the correct one; especially considering I still use fake words like ginormous.

Anyone else get the “I can’t believe I’m old enough to get married”syndrome? How are you dealing with it?

The Dress Is In…..

And it just barely fits. Why was I even trying on my dress 6 months before the wedding (besides the obvious answer- because I finally could!)? Well it all started while dress shopping. I don’t know how this happened, but my body is pretty much the perfect size for almost all sample wedding gowns. It was an amazing (and quite unusual) feeling to put dress after dress on and have them fit as if I had already had them altered. When I found my dress, the sample also fit pretty much perfectly. I was pumped and ready to order.

The consultant came in to measure me and informed me that I should order a 12. Ummmmm no. The sample 10 fit me, and I was not going to order a size up just to spend a bagillion dollars altering it down to a 10. So against the advice of the consultant, and with a signature on my contract accepting responsibility if the dress didn’t fit I ordered the 10.

But that was 8 months ago, and despite the fact that I promised myself I’d restart weight watchers and hire a personal trainer the second I got engaged, I have been pretty much HORRIBLE with regards to healthy eating and exercising, and have probably gained a couple pounds since I ordered the dress. Oh, and I forgot that samples are typically stretched out from being tried on a trillion times a day. So I figured I better go try it on now, hope it fits, and if it doesn’t let this be the point at which I focus on being healthy and losing weight.

And it did fit- mostly. The fact that the consultant was out of breath by the time she closed the clasp at the top of the zipper, and couldn't actually finish zipping it, coupled with the feeling I got of being stuffed into a sausage casing means I am now fully motivated. I guess I've found my motivation.

And now that you stuck with me through all those words, some eye candy of me in MY dress!!! (all personal photos ahead)

Here I am saying "Wow, this is REALLY tight" and my grandma is saying "DON'T TOUCH IT!"

Please excuse the way i am standing. Apparently the second I put on a wedding dress I stand like a doofus. Oh, and I need to put in some cups STAT...there is a severe lacking of cleavage.

I really am flat chested- my boobs and gut form like a straight line here. Once again, I REALLY need some cups.

My first real back shot! I LOVE the back, but think I might add some false buttons (don't want to deal with really buttoning it up) and may also lower the back point inch or so.

And finally, just to prove I'm not lying- You can see the little part of zipper that never made it up:

Did anyone else order a size that wasn't recommended? How did it work for you?

The Secret Rules of Weddings

The more I immerse myself into the world of weddings, the more I hear questions from brides that start with the words “Is it OK if I”, as if there is some list of rules that every bride must follow on her wedding day , otherwise end up shunned by her family and friends for making a mistake!

Is there a book out there that outlines these rules of weddings? A book that says a bridal party must include 1 person per every 50 guests and no more than that, or bridesmaids must wear exactly the same dress and shoes and makeup and hair, or that the color of the bridesmaid dresses must be carried out into the main décor of the reception space, with napkins and tablecloths matching perfectly?

If so, I’ve definitely failed to read this book, and instead I find myself writing the rules as I go. So, here is a quick list of Miss Elk’s new wedding rules.

1) The ceremony is about the bride and the groom, period. This time should be a reflection of the couple. There are a few exceptions (see rule 3#).

2) Whoever is footing the bill does get a say. I know my first rule said that the bride and groom get to choose whatever they want for the ceremony, but things start to change when someone else is paying. While this nice benefactor's desires shouldn’t be law by any means, they should definitely be considered. And this rule applies in reverse as well, whoever isn’t paying, shouldn’t have a say. Yes your great aunt sally may be upset by the idea of you walking down the aisle to that crazy rock and roll music, but unless she is paying for violinists to play during the walk, it’s not her decision. Again, this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t listen to your friends and family and take their advice into consideration, just that you shouldn’t be talked out of something you want by people who aren’t really involved.

3) If a decision affects a guest’s ability to have fun/be comfortable, then that decision should sway towards the guests comfort. A wedding is a time for the bride and groom to celebrate with their closest (and sometimes not so close) friends and family. You are hosting a party for them, and they are your invited guests. Whatever you do, you should be asking yourselves “would I be happy as a guest at this party or would this make me miserable”. A few examples; if the party is during dinner hours, food should be provided. If the ceremony is an hour long, make sure there are seats available for your guests (pretty common sense stuff here!)

4) If a decision does not affect a guest’s ability to have fun/be comfortable, there is no reason to follow any “rules”. As a guest, you would not be affected by the baby pink outfits of the bridal party, or if the gowns they wore matched the napkins, or if there were 30 bridesmaids, or if the flowers were fake. Therefore, a bride can set her own rules for what she likes and doesn’t like (since these elements are all a matter of taste!) despite the norms in the wedding industry.

5) The bridal party members are not your slaves. You are asking them to stand at your wedding because they are important to you! Treat them as the honored guests that they are. Sure, if they offer to help let them! But don’t expect them to bend over backwards to make sure your programs are perfectly embossed- they want you to be happy, but only YOU care about your wedding that much.

And there you have it! These are the rules I have tried to follow and they haven't failed me yet!

Have you gone against the norms of the wedding industry while planning your nuptials? Have you gotten slack for it?

The Poochasaur

Mr Elk and I have been arguing a lot about one particular subject with regards to the wedding:

personal photos

our dog, Harrison. (PS- doesn't he look like a monster in that second picture?)

In my corner: I want him at the wedding walking down the aisle, standing right next to us. He is our baby, and I can't imagine our wedding without him being a part of it. Plus, how adorable would a shot like this be?

Photo by Davina Plus Daniel via: Style Me Pretty

In the other corner is Mr Elk, and Mama Elk. Both agree that while it's a cute thought, it is a terrible idea. You see, our pooch, while sweet as can be, is not the brightest. He is also extremely nervous, and at any new noise or object in his path he will cower and retreat. I can therefore see where Mr Elk and Mama Elk are coming from in thinking that him walking down an aisle will lead to disaster. Moreover, we have no place to leave him during the reception.

Since I have been outvoted on this issue more times than I can count (though I keep trying!), I have started to think of other ways of including the pooch in our wedding.

Option #1: I saw a wedding that had a cute doggy topiary, and thought hmmm....that could work!? It is pretty stinking adorable, and I could put a sign around it's neck that says welcome or something. This option costs about 120 dollars, and Mr Elk isn't so into it.

Via Hidden Nest Studio

Option #2: When I saw this Quaker inspired marriage license, I swooned over the tiny little pooch hiding in the bottom right corner! This would definitely lend itself to a subtle nod towards our canine child, and my brother could easily include a rendition of our dog in his custom marriage certificate.

via: Etsy Ampers and Ink

Option #3: Doggy Cake Topper. Honestly, I'm not particularly into the whole cake topper thing, so I don't think this one is going to happen.

I am conflicted. I think adding a mini pooch to the marriage certificate is easy, but a little too subtle for me. I want him to have more of a presence at the wedding. I still like the topiary, but wonder if people will think it is really strange, plus $120 is nothing to sneeze at for a freaking moss dog!

So hive, what do you think is the best way to include our furbaby at the wedding? Do you have any other ideas for me?