Vows Shmows

It seems that everyone is writing their own vows these days. With weddings less traditional than ever, there is so much wiggle room to personalize and make things feel like your own. And with a nontraditional ceremony officiated by a friend, I thought our wedding would follow suit with the trend.....until I actually talked to Mr Elk.

Turns out, he is NOT fond of the idea at all. In fact, he has basically begged me not to make him do it. Why, you may ask does he not want to share his love for me on our big day? It all comes down to nerves. Mr Elk is a nervous person, and private at that. The thought of opening his heart and soul in front of 150 guests, 90% of whom he doesn't really know, scares the begeeses out of him! Moreover, he is petrified he will get emotional and cry. Now I think there is nothing more adorable than a groom crying on his wedding day (happy tears of course!), and I'd love it if Mr Elk shed a tear or two, but he seems to think that would be mortifying.

And so, with my dreams of sweet personal vows crushed, I moved on to find more traditional vows that would fit the bill. Again, weddingbee came through for me! I found these on the boards under a discussion of secular vows, and really loved how they incorporated a lot of the things very important to me, including family.

_____ take _____ 's right hand and repeat after me.

_____, I choose you to be my wife.
I promise freely from this day forward
To be worthy of your trust and deserving of your confidence;
To be generous with my time, my energy and my love;
To be patient with you and with myself,
To return love, tolerance, and generosity to your family.
To trust you;
To be devoted to you and our life together.
These things I pledge before you, myself, our friends, and our family.

_____ take _____ 's right hand and repeat after me.

_____, I choose you to be my husband.
I promise freely from this day forward
To be worthy of your trust and deserving of your confidence;
To be generous with my time, my energy and my love;
To be patient with you and with myself,
To return love, tolerance, and generosity to your family.
To trust you;
To be devoted to you and our life together.
These things I pledge before you, myself, our friends, and our family.

And with that, we had vows! But I wasn't going to let Mr Elk off that easily! I decided that even though we wouldn't speak personally written vows to each other during the ceremony, that doesn't mean we can't write our own and read them privately before the ceremony. And so Mr Elk has agreed that we will each write our own vows and take a few minutes before the ceremony to read each others thoughts. I really hope that we can enjoy a personal moment of reflection on our relationship and everything we hope for the future during this time, even if our guests aren't privy to it.

Are you writing your own vows, or are you going the more traditional route?